THE AMATEUR SERIES. 


u 


-A-ct ■well 3ro-u.r part.’ 




THG 


Women of LoWenbufg. 


A Historical Comedy in Five Sceres. 


-:by :— 


MISS E. MURRAY. 


PRICE 15 CSlsTTS- 


CHICAGO: 

T. S. DENISON, 


PUBLISHER. 


NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 


















THE STAR DRAMA. 

Price, FIFTEEN CTS. EACH, Postpaid. 

This series includes only plays of the highest order, of merit. They are the very 
best before the public. These plays are rich in variety of incident, and spirited in 
action. The dramas combine tender pathos, delightful humor, and sparkling wit. 
The farces are brimful of the rarest fun. 

This series is very carefully revised by an experienced editor. Each play is un¬ 
abridged. They are unequaled in fullness of stage directions, typography, and 
print. Every play on this list is a success. This series includes only plays suited 
to the present day. ^ 

ALL THAT GLITTERS 18 WOT GOLD. —A comic drama in two 
acts. Time, two hours. Six males, three females. 

CASTE. —A comedy in five acts. Time, two hours and thirty minutes. Five 
males, three females. 

EAST LYWWE. —A drama in five acts. Time, two hours and thirty minutes. 
Eight males, seven females. 

FRUITS OF THE WIWE CUP— A temperance drama in three acts. 

Time fifty minutes. Six males, four females. 

HOME.— A comedy in five acts. Time, two hours. Four males, three females. 
ICI ON PARLE FRAWCAIS. —A farce. Time forty minutes. Four 
nicilcs three fcm^lcs 

IN THE WRONG HOUSE. (two T. J.’s) A farce. Time thirty minutes. 
Four males, two females. 

I’M WOT MESILF AT ALL, —A farce. Time, twenty-five minutes. Three 
males, two females. 

JOHW SMITH.— A farce. Time thirty-five min. Five males, three females. 
HISS IW THE DARK— A sketch. Time thirty minutes. Three males, two 
females. 

LADY OF LYOWS. —A drama in five acts. Time, two hours and forty-five 
minutes. Twelve males, four females. 

LARKINS’ LOVE LETTERS. —A farce. Time, forty minutes. Four 
males, two females. ~ 

Li'UVA, THE PAUPER.— A drama in five acts. Time, one hour and 
forty-five minutes. Nine males, four females. 

LIMERICK BOY. (THE)- A farce. Time, forty-five minutes. Five 
males, two females. 

KN WIPE’S RELATIOWS, —Comedietta. Time, one hour. Four males, 
six females. 

MY TURW WEXT. —A farce. Time forty-five min. Four males, three females. 
MY NEIGHBOR’S WIFE. —A farce. Time forty-five minutes. Three 
males, three females. 

WOT SUCH A FOOD AS HE LOOKS.- A farcical drama in three acts. 

Time, two hours. Five males, four females. 

PERSECUTED DUTCHMAW. (THE) -A farce. Time, fifty minutes, 
six males, three females. 

QUIET FAMILY, (A) —A farce. Time, forty-five minutes. Four males, 
four females, 

REGULAR FIX, (A)— A farce. Time, forty min. Six males, four females. 
ROUGH DIAMOND. (THE) (Country Cousin)—A farce. Time, forty 
minutes. Four males, three females. 

SOLDIER OF FORTUWE. (A) —A comedy drama in five acts. Time, 
two hours and twenty minutes. Eight males, three females. 

SPARKLIWG CUP, (THE) —A temperance play in five acts. Time, one 
hour and forty-five minutes. Twelve males, four females. 

TEW WIGHTS IW A BAR ROOM. —A temperance drama in five acts. 

Time, two hours. Twelve males, four females. 

TOODL.ES, (THE)-A drama in two acts. Time, one hour and fifteen min. 
Six males, two females. 

TURW HIM OUT. —A farce. Time, forty-five inin. Three males, two females. 
THE TWO PUDDIFOOTS. —A farce. Time, forty minutes. Three 

miilpfl tnrpp TPtTn Ipq 

uwde6 the laurels. —A drama in five acts. Time, one hour and 
forty-five minutes. Five males, four females. 

T. S. DENISON, Publisher,. Chicago. 


THE 


WOMEN OF LOWENBURG 


A HISTORICAL COMEDY 


IN FIVE SCENES. 





MURRAY. 



CHICAGO: 

T. S. DENISON, Publisher. 

Copyright 1SS6, by T. S. Denison, 










< 


THE WOMEN OF 


■ r 

LOWENBURG. 


CHARACTERS. 

Judge Seiler. 

The Town Clerk. 

The Town Council, Mechanics, etc. 

Lady Seiler and Dames of the City, Maids, etc. 

Time of flaying thirty minutes. 


COSTUMES, A. D. 1640. 

Gentlemen. —Loose trousers reaching to knees and fastened by sash 
garter; tight hose; shoes with large buckles or rosettes; frock coat 
(doublet) full, and reaching nearly to knees, embroidered, buttoned to 
waist, sleeves full and closed at wrists with lace cuffs; broad-brimmed 
hat turned up at one side, with feather; sword; hair long. 

Clerics and Plainer Gentlemen.— Same trousers; long jacket, 
instead of doublet; plain black cloak, plain broad-brimmed felt hat. 

Laborers.- -Same trousers and jackets, of plain coarse material; 
coarse shoes. 

Ladies. —Long pointed bodices, tightly laced; rich under dress with 
flowing overskirt, opened in front and gathered up behind; sleeves very 
wide, and trimmed with lace; deep falling c.ollar; hair natural ringlets. 

Townswomen and Maids. —Plainer dress; instead of pointed bodice 
easy fitting jacket; ample petticoat showing through the open skirt. 

(All these may be made of cheap material.) 


STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R , means right—the actor facing the audience; A, left; C, center; 7?, C, 
right center; U E , upper entrance, etc. 







THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


Note. —During- the Thirty Years’ War the town of Lowenburg in Silesia passed in¬ 
to the hands of the opposite party. The men conformed to the religion of the donvnant 
party, but the women held to their faith and successfully resisted all attempts at 
coercion. 

Scene I. The Town Council deliberating in the Town Hall. 

Judge Seiler. Most worthy and excellent president of the council, I 
rise to offer the following resolution: 

Whereas, The women of the city of Lowenburg have for the space 
of above one year absented themselves from the churches which their 
husbands attend, and continue to worship apart and in their own wilful 
manner; and, 

Whereas, We, the town council of Lowenburg, have observed with 
much grief of mind and oppression of spirit the contumacious behavior of 
the aforesaid women ; and, 

Whereas, It is highly proper and a thing settled both by custom and 
law that women shall submit in all things to the authority of their right¬ 
ful masters, the aforesaid husbands; therefore, 

Resolved , That we, the town council of this ancient city of Lowen¬ 
burg, do, by virtue of our authority, compel all women henceforth to at¬ 
tend that church which their husbands shall prefer. 

President. Is it seconded? (A confused murmur.) 

Pres. You have heard the weighty and pertinent resolution fair sirs, 
and it has been seconded. Will you speak to the motion? 

Judge S. Honorable President and Worshipful Sirs: I need not say 
many words, for the facts stare us in the face. I ask you yourselves, is it 
seemly? Is it well to see a crowd of men bobbing in the churches? 

First C. Did you say nodding , sir? 

Judge S. I said bobbing , sir, but I might have said nodding as well; 
without a woman to— 

Second C. Keep them awake! 

Thtrd C. Without a woman to look at! 

Judge S. Without a woman to show proper respect for her husband’s 
opinion. 

Herr Julius. I highly approve of this resolution, nor will there be 
the slightest difficulty in enforcing it. Men can be made to obey laws 
will they, or nill they, and shall we, officials in our high position, and 
some of us men venerable in years, find any trouble in dealing with 
these small, weak creatures? 

Fourth C. If our success is dependent on inches and muscles, wise 
sir, your reasoning is unanswerable. 

Herr Mensel. The resolution is, I opine, both wdse and opportune, and 
reflects credit on the sagacity and patriotism of its mover. A man and 

( 3 ) 



4 


THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


his wife should have, as you all must acknowledge, but one creed and 
one paternoster. As concerns the Ten Commandments, it is not so 
pressing. 

Several. Well said, -well said. 

Fifth C. I wonder what kind of a wife he has (aside). 

Sixth C. Six weeks ago he buried her. It is well she does not hear 
him. 

Herr Franz. I think we had better consider this matter w r ell. It may 
be that the ladies, bless their timid hearts, should take fright at our se¬ 
verity and escape to other places. What, if in our city streets should no 
longer be seen the lovely young girls, the gentle widows-. ( Boister¬ 

ous laughter.) I call upon his honor the president to stop this unseemly 
conduct. 

Seventh C. Excuse us, gentle sir, but absolutely a widower of a few 
days should not be in such haste to twine the myrtle. 

Pres. I do not consider this a matter for jesting. Shall I put it to the 
vote. (Confused, answer.) All who vote in the affirmative will rise. 
(Part stand.) 

Eighth C. (to Neighbor.) Are you not up? 

Ninth C. Nay, nay, my wife is a pleasant woman, none better, but 
(to Neighbor) there are some things I do not meddle with. 

Tenth C. to Eighth. For my part my good woman lets be, and I let be, 
so we have peace. 

Eleventh C. (to Neighbor.) Now see you here, the men who have no 
wives are voting bold as sheep, but the married men sit still. 

Tzvelftli C. Not all, see there, the Judge is up. 

Thirteenth C. What courage! 

Herr Mensel. Well, I think the gentlemen who refuse to vote, are en¬ 
tirely wanting in devotion to their high duties, and are failing their city 
in her hour of need. If all should thus falter and hesitate, where should 
we look for heroes to bear our city’s flag and hold the keys of our be¬ 
loved Lowenburg. These gentlemen- 

Judge Seiler. These gentlemen are afraid that some one will tell their 
wives how they vote. 

Fourteenth C. If his honor the judge repeats that slander he will soon 
find out that I am not afraid of him at least.- 

Pres. 1 beg the gentlemen to keep the peace. The resolution is 
passed by a majority of one. Now, lair sirs, how will you carry it into 

Fifteenth C. The best way would be for each man to deal v r ith his own 
wife and make her understand that she must conform to his wishes. (Ex- 

clamations of dismay.) 

1. That man is brother to Solomon, surely— 

2 . That is out of the question! 

3 . Entirely impossible! 

Sixteenth C. May I ask if any of the wise and noble gentlemen have 
ever attempted such a thing before? 

Seventeenth C. We do not mean to attempt it now. 

Eighteenth C. Judge Seiler had better lead the van in this war. 

Judge S. (haughtily.) I would have you know, sir, that I am not afraid 
of either man, woman or child. 




THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


5 


Herr Schoppell. Why, gentlemen, gentlemen, we are talking of ladies , 
the gentlest and sweetest of beings, who live to please us, who weep if 
we but frown, and light themselves in our smiles. (Silenced by irrepressi¬ 
ble laughter.) 

Herr Julius. Now, I propose that we send a message to a few of 
the more distinguished ladies to come here to the Town Hall, inform 
them of the decision we have thought proper to make, and command 
them to show an example of obedience. The sight of our august body 
will overawe their minds and dispose them to obedience; all the other 
women will of course follow their lead, and the whole matter will be ac¬ 
complished without noise or disturbance of any kind. 

Pres. A very wise plan. Will the secretary write a list ot four or 
five of the most distinguished ladies? Herr Town Clerk, will you please 
send a billet to each lady named in the list, requiring her immediate 
presence. 

Town Clerk. Certainly, honorable sir. 

Scene II. Tozvn Council as before. 

Pres. Sir Clerk, have the women arrived? 

Town Clerk. Usher, have the women come? 

Usher. Oh, yea, and yea, all the women of the city belike. First 
come my lady, the judge and my mistress Burgomaster sailing along 
like gallant ships in all the bravery of wimple and coif. Then come, 
pair by pair, and three by three, women upon women, five hundred of 
women at the very least. Women, yea and women, quoth I. 

(Councilmen speaking hurriedly i) 

1. Oh, we can’t have that. 

2. They are not coming up, are they ? 

5>. Hurry down, my good man, hurry down, and tell them they cannot 
come up. 

4. Tell them we only sent for four of the principal ladies, and the rest 
must go home immediately. (Usher goes out). 

First C. to Second C. (who looks out of the window). Do you see aught 
of them ? 

Second C. Y es, it is an army, a mob. 

First C. Just give another look; is my wife there ? 

Second C. I do not know; I do not care to be seen by them just now. 
Look for vourself, if you please. 

First C. No thank you. What the eye does not see, the heart does 
not rue. 

Third C. It would be more appropriate to quote the ostrich just now. 
I suspect our wives know just where we are without seeing us at present. 
(Usher returns). 

Pres. What do the ladies say? 

Usher. They say, most worshipful sirs, that they will not allow them¬ 
selves to be separated. What one does, all will do. Where one goes, 
all will go. 

Fifth C. It will be wise to lock the door till we come to some de¬ 
cision. Five hundred ladies, however amiable, might embarrass our dis¬ 
cussions— 



6 


THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


Sixth C. And influence our decisions. 

Usher {trying toJasten the door). I believe, sirs, the door will not lock. 

Eighth C. {excitedly). Get a bar, man; don’t stand haggling there, till the 
witches are on us. 

Eleventh C. Here, here, this passes patience. Witches! Of whom 
are you speaking, sir? 

Twelfth C. Excuse him. The word slipped out in his fright. He 
meant houris, angels. 

Thirteenth C. Angels’ visits are not always welcome, apparently. 

Fourteenth C. They had better be few and far between. 

Pres, {sternly). If you have done joking, gentlemen, perhaps you w ; ll 
attend to the serious business on hand. What do you intend to do with 
regard to these ladies? {Silence.) 

Tozvn Clerk. I think, honorable sir, I had better go down and speak 
to them. With vinegar you catch no flies- 

Fijtceyith C. Who are the flies in this case, thev or we? 

Town Clerk. And as I was saying—I. have always cultivated the 
habit of using smooth words, notwithstanding any perturbation of mind 
or untoward circumstances. So I think that by a few kind words I can 
allay their excited feelings and dispose them to listen to reason. 

Herr Alensel. I will accompany him. There are the most cogent 
reasons for their complying with our request, which I feel sure I can 
make clear to their weaker minds by quoting precedents and illustrating 
them with facts. ( They go out). 

Sixteenth C. The brave men. They are actually facing the danger 
for all of us. 

Seventeenth C. May I ask what you mean. Do you really suppose 
our wives will be so unladylike as to terrify the gentlemen? 

Sixteenth C. Oh, of course not. I doubt not that they are on their 
knees at his feet by now, promising to renounce all errors and walk in 
procession to any church in the city he chooses, if he only will forgive 
them. 

Seve?iteenth C. I am glad that you can be so merry. I can only account 
for it on the supposition that your wife is not in the crowd. 

Sixteenth C. Your acuteness is unsurpassed; my wife is away on a 
visit. 

(An interval of anxious silence.) 

Eighteenth C. Here our messengers come in haste, and rather woe¬ 
begone in looks. 

First C. His Honor, the clerk, looks as if he had seen a ghosh 

Second C. He has. Five hundred of them. Enough to daunt the 
stoutest heart. 

Pres. Well, sir, and will the ladies conform to our wishes? 

Clerk. Indeed, indeed, Honorable Herr president and worshipful sirs. 
I do fear that this council is in no small danger. Not only are the five 
hundred there as determined and stubborn as- (Hesitates.) 

Third C. Never mind ; go on. We understand. 

Clerk. But every one of them has her bunch of keys by her side, and 
some are fingering them. (Silence). 

Fourth C. They cannot do much harm with a bunch of keys. 




THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


7 


Fifth C. Can they not so? Did you not hear what happened close 
here during the late war when two stragglers from one of the armies en¬ 
tered a house in one of the villages, and by way of terrifying the women 
into confessing where their valuables were hidden, snatched up the baby 
and held it over the fire. The women fell on them, tooth and nail; the 
mother actually beat out the brains of one with her great keys, and drove 
the other out of the house. 

Herr Hubner. The dignity of our council must not be infringed in 
this way. Let us send for the musketeers of the Town Guard. There 
are a hundred of them and the first fire- 

Seventeenth C. If this proposition is to be entertained, Honorable 
President, I move as an amendment that all who vote for it, shall be put 
into straight-jackets and consigned to the insane asylum. 

Pres. But what did the ladies say? 

Clerk. We politely begged them to conform to their husbands’ opin¬ 
ions, and Herr Mensel began to bring forward his arguments when the 
Lady Seiler answered, “We do not come to argue. We come to stand to 
our faith, as our parents and preachers have instructed us.” Then I 
begged them to retire and let me inform the honorable council that they 
had asked fourteen days for consideration, but they replied, “No, my dear 
sir, we were not taught by our preachers to tell falsehoods, and we will 
not learn it from you.” 

Fourteenth C. That was just like them. 

Fifteenth C. Just like whom? 

Fourteenth C. Well, just like my wife, and I don’t care if I do say it. 

Herr Mensel. Oh, they had more to say. We talked as sweetly as if 
we were two grandmothers singing cradle songs, and can you imagine 
what they answered? Said the mistress Burgomaster, “Nay, nay, sirs. 
Do you think we are so simple as not to perceive the trick by which you 
would force us women to change our faith against our conscience? You 
gentlemen have not been consorting together all these days for nothing. 
Assuredly you have either baked or boiled a pudding full of mischief, 
which you may eat up yourselves. I shall notenter alone. Where I remain, 
all my friends remain; and where I go, all my friends will go. Women, 
is this your will ? And they all cried out—I marvel you did not hear 
the hubbub—‘Yea, yea, let it be so; we will hold together as one man.’ ” 

Herr Hubner. Look to the doors, usher. 

Clerk. There is but one thing left for us to do. There are back stairs 
to this building. Let us go down very quietly and silently, get out, lock 
the doors on this refractory womankind, and make our escape. 

All. Well said, well said. 

( They hastily make their exit.) 

Pres. Stop, stop, gentlemen. A motion for adjournment will now be 
in order. 

One of the last C. Excuse me, you had better come on and not lose 
time unless you wish to be locked in with those bunches of keys. 

Pres, {testily). The keys are all well enough for an excuse. Why 
did the men not tell the truth and say they were afraid of their wives’ 
tongues? 



8 


THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


Nineteenth C. The whole thing is inexpressibly absurd. What are we 
running away for? 

First C. That we may live to fight another day. 

Second C. {on tip-toe). How these stairs do creak! 

Fourth C. H’sh! H’sh! {All on tip-toe). 

Scene III. A room in the Town Hall. A crowd of women in old time 
Dutch dresses , seated , knitting calmly. 

First Lady. It seems very quiet here. Our respected husbands are 
evidently in no hurry to make known their decisions to us. 

Second Lady. I have my serious doubts as to whether our respected 
husbands are in the building. I heard whisperings and tiptoeing some 
time ago. 

Third Lady. Do you suppose they would really run away? 

Fourth Lady. Exactly, my dear; it is the very thing I do suppose they 
would do. You just undertake to convince a man of the reasonableness 
of anything, and see if he does not instantly remember a business engage¬ 
ment so pressing, that he cannot stop to listen to you. 

Fifth Lady. Their next engagement will be their dinners. They can 
try how comfortably they can get them without us. 

Sixth Lady {going out). I am going to see if they have gone. {Exit R). 

{Sixth Lady returns.) 

Seventh Lady. Well? 

Sixth Lady. Well, the whole wise and mighty council have actually 
decamped, probably in a state of deadly terror. The council room is 
empty. The stairs are strewn with hats, gloves and handkerchiefs. The 
doors are locked for fear we shall pursue and annihilate them. {Hearty 
laughter). 

Eighth Lady. The poor men, how will they get on without us? 

Ninth Lady. They will be all the more glad to get us back. 

Tenth Lady. My knitting will make good progress. At home, it is 
every moment, “Here, good wife, I cannot find this, and where are you, 
good wife, can’t you do this?” It is really strange to sit quietly at my 
work. 

Eleventh Lady. I think they were really afraid of our keys. The 
poor gentlemen turned pale when I fingered mine a little, but I was 
only rejoicing that my fresh cheese cakes were locked up, else my poor 
Dirk would have given them all to the children to keep them quiet. 

Twelfth Lady. Who knocks below the window? 

Maul {outside). Open the window, dear ladies. 

E'irst Lady. Ah, my faithful Gretchen. 

Second Lady. My precious darling Lina. 

Lina. Here, mamma, here is a basket with your dinner. Nurse and 
I have packed it with everything nice we could find. 

Gretchen. Here is yours, noble lady; you’ll find your Gretchen stand 
by you to the last. 

Maids. We can’t all get to the window. Pass the baskets, hand over 
hand. 

Third Lady. Here, I’ll pass them in. 


TIIE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


9 


Fourth Lady. How are our households? 

Gretchen. Ah, ladies, such limes! The worthy gentlemen, they are 
quite lost, dazed. The town is in an uproar. No one knows What 
to do. 

Fifth Lady. You must do your best to keep things straight, and take 
care of the children while we are locked in here. 

Maids. That we will, blessed ladies; be quite at ease. 

Doorkeeper (pushing up). Here, women, give way here. What is this 
crowd ? 

Maids. Crowd us; no crowd, sir. We are only bringing food to the 
blessed martyrs you have imprisoned here, more shame to you. 

Doorkeeper. Keep civil tongues in your heads, and let me get near the 
window. I have a message to the ladies. Ladies, ladies, the council has 
been summoned to reassemble at the President’s house, and no doubt you 
will soon be released. 

Sixth Lady. Tell the gentlemen not to trouble themselves; we are in 
no hurry. 

Seventh Lady. Yes, we willingly have patience, as we are quite com¬ 
fortable here. But tell them we expect them to inform us why we were 
summoned, and we wish to know' if there is any law for imprisoning per¬ 
sons without accusation or warrant. 

Doorkeeper. Here comes Herr town clerk, to assure you of your safety. 

Eighth Lady. It seems more necessary for us to assure him of safety. 

Clerk. Ladies, most esteemed ladies, allow me to assure you that you 
have entirely misunderstood the whole matter. You are in no danger 
whatever. Do not, I beg of you, be alarmed or troubled. You have 
been in no danger from the first. You were only invited'to visit your 
husband’s church as an act of friendliness; that indeed was all. We 
only wished to hold a friendly conference with you, and there was no 
need of all this excitement. It is not customary with our wise and con¬ 
siderate council to hang a man before they have caught him. 

Maids {outside). Hang them! VVnat’s that? Are they going to hang 
our ladies? Here, have at them. Hound them off. Hang, quoth they. 
Throw'- us your keys, good mistresses; we’ll beat behavior into these un¬ 
mannerly knaves. Oh, hang them indeed, will you so? 

First Lady. Fie, girls, fie. Let the men go their way in peace. Such 
rude ways become not us or our cause. Hear you; let them pass. Let 
the councillors know that neither for threat or flattery will we yield our 
precious faith. And as for hanging, we are not so frightened of death 
that we need cringe or beg for mercy. 

Maids. Ah, but they are glad to get out of our way? Hang our 
ladies, indeed. Fine doings, these. 

Scene IV.— Room in the President's house. President and three of the 

Council. 

Pres, {unpatiently). Where are the rest of the council. It seems hours 
since I sent for them. 

First C. I do not know, Honorable President, but I do know that a 
crowd of men are in the square, grumbling and growling at the loss of 
those precious wives of theirs. One would think they could not live 
without them for a minute. Oh, here comes a deputation of them. 


IO 


THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


(Enter jive men dressed as mechanics.) 

Pres. Good, my men; what is it you desire ? 

First Man. Your Honor, we want our wives at home. 

Pres, (angrily). I am sure I wish they were there, with all my heart. 
(Recovering dignity). Your wives chose to come to the Town Hall and 
interrupt our deliberations. 

Second Man. We understand that you sent for them and locked them 
up. What crime do you accuse them of? Why were we not informed 
that we might go bail for them? 

Third Man. See here, your Honor, we have our work to do, and we 
cannot stay at home to cook meals and order the house. 

Fourth Alan. Do you intend to pay us for our loss of time, while we 
do our women’s work? 

Fifth Man. It is w r ell enough for men to fight men, but surely our 
honorable council have lost their senses when they fight women, and dis¬ 
turb the peace of households. 

First Alan. At any rate, we must have our women back, and we will. 

Pres, (impatiently). If you will leave the council undisturbed, we shall 
have time to arrange the matter. 

First Alan (sulkily). Well, we can wait awhile, I suppose, but if the 
matter is not arranged soon we will arrange it ourselves, perhaps not 
much to your Honor’s liking. (Men go out). 

Pres. Where are those gentlemen! Ah, Herr Metzer, where are the 
rest? 

Herr Aletzer. Some of them are keeping prudently out of the tangle; 
no one can find them. Herr Pfeifer, he cannot come. He is sitting at 
home, one twin on each knee, pulling his beard; a room full of riotous 
children; the maid coming in every moment with a fresh demand— 
Will he come and count the clean clothes? Will he direct the seam¬ 
stress? The garret needs inspection. Will he turn over the cheese in 
press, give out the pillow cases, and make the pudding? 

Herr Ritter (entering). Our poor friend Herr Julius is worse off. He 
would have gone to prison in earnest if I had not been there. 

All. How! To prison! 

Herr Ritter. Yes, worthy sir, to prison. He had his baby, holding it 
rather awkwardly I think, though I am not much acquainted with 
babies. He called to the maid to take it, but she came with her hands 
covered with dough, and had actually the assurance to tell him that he 
would have bad bread for a week if she had to stop with the child. 
That imp! it screamed, it yelled. He tried to talk to me, but it was of 
no use. Mearfwhile a monkey of a little girl stood opposite with her fin- 
ger in her mouth, saying, “Why do you jump the baby so hard, papa? 
Mamma don’t do it in that way.” At last he was so annoyed, he gave 
the baby a clip on the side of its head to stop its screaming, just then 
the servant saw him. As she came in she rushed on him like a whirl¬ 
wind, caught away the baby, yelling, Murder! murder! help! as loud as 
she could screech. The child ran down stairs shrieking. In came the 
neighbors; the police fell upon our poor friend, and he would have been 
carried off to prison if I had not at last made them listen to my account 
of the facts. 


THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


I I 

Pres, (as H. H. enters'). Herr Hutten, welcome! Where is Judge 
Seiler? 

Herr Hutten. Judge Seiler? Oh, he carried matters with a high hand. 
He ordered dinner, and the girl set before him a dish of stewed crabs, 
with bread and butter. He found fault and she answered pertly that she 
“could not get him anything else, Her lady had the keys. Perhaps he 
had better go and ask her for them.” He threw the loaf at her head, and 
the crabs in the waste basket; then the frightened children began to cry, 
saying they were hungry. In his fury he sent the dishes out of the win¬ 
dow. 

First C. What, his wife’s china dishes? 

Herr Hutten. Yes, truly, imagine his rage. The maid picked up the 
pieces and ran to the Town house to show them to her lady. He will 
have a serious reckoning to hold when his wife returns. 

Pres. What in the name of common sense are we to do, gentlemen? 

Herr Ritter. Unlock the doors and tell them to go home; there is 
nothing else that we can do. 

Herr Metzer. But we shall be a laughing stock in the town if we give 
up so. 

Second C. We shall be that at any rate. 

Third C. Whether we are or not, we cannot keep them there. There 
will be a riot in the town before long. 

Herr Ritter. I am quite ready to copy the snail who draws his horns 
in quicker than he puts them out. 

Fourth C. And there the ladies sit knitting and chatting as if they 
were in Eden. 

Herr Metzer. With all the Adams outside the gates. 

Pres, {stiffly.) I must request the gentlemen to refrain from such 
allusions. 

Fifth C. I move that we send the doorkeeper to unlock the Town 
Hall. 

First C. I second the motion. 

Pres. All in favor of the motion will say aye. It is.a vote. The door¬ 
keeper is ordered to attend to it. 

Herr Metzer {looking out of the window.) Judge Seiler, Judge Seiler, 
we want you. 

Judge {outside.) Excuse me. I have very important business in 
Schluppenhausen, and cannot wait. I will be back in a few days. 

Scene V. Doorkeefer and Town Clerk at the Town Hall. 

Clerk. Have you unlocked all? Now inform the ladies of the fact. 

Doorkeefer. Excuse me. I have done my duty, and have nothing 
more to do with the matter. 

Clerk {entering). Such a want of public spirit. Ladies! I am happy 
to inform you that the doors are open. The council request you to retire, 
and wish me to assure you of their unalterable good will. 

First Lady. Did they send an apology for our illegal detention? 

Second Lady. Will the council please inform us why we were impris¬ 
oned, and by what law? 

Third Lady. We do not intend to go out under the stigma of having 


12 


THE WOMEN OF LOWENBURG. 


been arrested and imprisoned. Will you be kind enough to inform the 
council of our determination ? Either let them proceed according to 
regular laws, or apologize for their mistake, and escort us from the Hall 
across the Square, to show that we go out as guests, not as prisoners. 

Clerk - I think, ladies, that as the Council is somewhat hurried- 

Fourth Lady. We can wait till they make up their minds. We are in 
no hurry. 

Clerk (going out , to doorkeeper , despairingly). All the fat is in the fir - 
again. 

•( Interval. Ladies knit and chat.) 

Clerk {returns). Eadies, I am empowered to inform you that the 
Council had no intention of imprisoning you. They apologize for anv 
trouble or annoyance the mistake may have caused you, and they are 
waiting to escort you out. 

Fifth Lady. Well, let us return then and set our households in order. 

Sixth Lady {grimly). Some of them need putting in order. Ladas 
come out tranquilly. Gentlemen of the Council bow profoundly. Ladies 
courtesy and proceed with escort of gentlemen , President at their head. 
Crowd whispering and gazing , fall in procession following.) 

Town Clerk {standing alone at the Town Half shrugs his shoulders) 
To be remembered. The Lowenburg Council must never again inter¬ 
fere with the women’s religion. 



THE ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. 

Price, is els. each , post-paid. 

These plaj r s are all short, and very funny. Nothing poor in the list. Thej 
serve admirably to give variety to a programme. The female characters may be 
assumed by males in most cases. Where something thoroughly comical, but 
unobjectionable is wanted, they are just the thing. 

STAGE STRUCK DARKY. 

A very funny “ take-off” on tragedy; 2 male, 1 female. Time 10 minutes. 

STOCKS UP—STOCKS DOWN. 

2 males; a played-out author and his sympathizing friend; very funny and full 
of “ business ” and practical jokes. Time 10 minutes. 

DEAF—IN A HORN. 

2 males; negro musician and a deaf pupil. A very interesting question sudden¬ 
ly enables the latter to hear. Full of first-class “ business.” Time 8 minutes. 

HANDY ANDY. 

2 males; master and servant. The old man is petulant and the servant makes 
all sorts of ludicrous mistakes and misunderstands every order. Very lively in 
action. Time 10 minutes. 

THE MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER. 

A farce; 4 males, 2 females. Characters: The mischievous nigger, old man, 
French barber, Irishman, widow, nurse. Time 20 minutes. 

THE SHAM DOCTOR. 

A negro farce; 4 males, 2 females. This is a tip-top farce. The “sham doctor” 
can not fail to bring down the house. Time 15 minutes. 

NO CURE , NO PAY. 

3 males, 1 female. Doctor Ipecac has a theory that excessive terror will cure 
people who are deaf and dumb. His daughter’s lover is mistaken for the patient 
to the terror of all. Only one darky. A capital little piece for schools or parlor. 
Time 10 minutes. 

TRICKS. 

5 males, 2 females. (Only two darkys, 1 male, 1 female.) A designing old 
step-father wishes to marry his step-daughter for her money. She and her lover 
plan an elopement. The old man discovers it and has an ingenious counter-plot 
which fails completely, to his discomfiture. Time 10 minutes. Suited to parlor 
performance. 


HAUNTED HOUSE. 

2 males. A white-washer encounters “spirits” in a house he has agreed to 
white-wash. Plenty of business. Time S minutes. 

THE TWO POMPEYS. 

4 males. A challenge to a duel is worked up in a very funny way. Time 
8 minutes. 


AN UNHAPPY PAIR. 

x males, and males for a band. Two hungry niggers strike the musician? 
for a square meal. Good for school or parlor, and very funny. Time to minutes. 


LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 


Any Play on this List I 5 Cts. Postpa 


Plays by T. S. DENISON. 

ODDS WITH THE ENEMY. 

A drama in five acts; 7 ma le and 4 fe¬ 
male characters. Time, 2 hours. 

SETH GREENBACK. 

A drama in four acts; 7 male and 3fe¬ 
male. Time, 1 hour 15 m. 

INITIATING A GRANGER. 

A ludicrous farce; 8 male. Time, 25 m. 

TWO GHOSTS IN WHITE. 

A humorous farce based on boarding- 
school life; 7 female characters. Time, 

25 m - 

THE ASSESSOR. 

A humorous sketch; 3 male and 2 fe¬ 
male. Time, 15 m. 

BORROWING TROUBLE. 

A ludicrous farce; 3 male and 5 fe¬ 
male. Time, 30 m. 

COUNTRY JUSTICE. 

A very amusing country law suit; 8 
male characters. (May admit 14.) Time, 
15 m. 

THE PULL-BACK. 

A laughable farce; 6 female. Time, 
20 min. 

HANS VON SMASH. 

A roaring farce in a prologue and one 
act; 4 male and 3 female. Time, 30 m. 

OUR COUNTRY. 

A patriotic drama in three parts. Re¬ 
quires 9 male, 3 female, (Admits 9 male 

female.) Four fine tableaux. Time, 
about 1 hour. 

THE SCHOOL MA’AM, 

A briliant comedy in four acts; 6 male, 
5 female. Time, 1 hour 45 min. 

THE IRISH LINEN PEDDLER. 

A lively farce; 3 male, 3 female. Time, 
45 m - 

THE KANSAS IMMIGRANTS; Or, the 
Great Exodus. 

A roaring farce; 5 male, 1 female. 
Time, 30 m. 

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. 

A splendid farce; 3 male, 6 female. 
Time, 45 m. 

IS THE EDITOR IN? 

A farce; 4 male and 2 female. 

AN ONLY DAUGHTER. 

A drama in three acts; 3 male and 2 
female. Time, 1 hour 15 m. 

PETS OF SOCIETY. 

A farce in high life; 7 females. Time, 
30 m. 


A very j 0 017 401 151 

male, 2 female. Time, 20 m. 

LOUVA, THE PAUPER. 

A drama in five acts; 9 male and 4 fe¬ 
male characters. Time, 1 hour 45 m. 

UNDER THE LAURELS. 

A drama in five acts; a stirring play, 
fully equal to Louva the Pauper. Five 
male, 4 female. Time, 1 hour 45 m. 

THE SPARKLING CUP. 

A temperance drama in five acts; 12 
male and 4 female. 

-o- 

Plays by H. Elliott McBride* 
ON THE BRINK. 

A temperance drama in two acts; 12 
male, 3 female. Time, 1 hour 43 m. 

A BAD JOB. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 30 m. 

PLAYED AND LOST. 

A sketch; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 
20 m. 

MY JEREMIAH. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 25 nv 

LUCY’S OLD MAN. 

A sketch; 2 male, 3 female. Time, 20 
m. 

THE COW THAT KICKED CHICAGO. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 25 m. 

I’LL STAY AWHILE. 

A farce; 4 male. Time, 23 m. 

-o- 

THE FRIDAY AFTERNOON DIALOGUES, 

Short and lively. For boys and girls. 
—Price 26 cts. 



FRIDAY AFTERNOON SPEAKER* 

A choice collection. Three parts: for 
little folks, for older boys and girls, short 
pithy dialogues .—Price 26 cts. 

SCRAP BOOK READINGS. 

Latest and best pieces .—Price per No. 

(paper cover) 26 cts. 

WORK AND PLAY. 

BY MARY J. JACQUES. 

A gem for the little folks. This is a 
book of both instruction and amusement. 
Part I consists of a large variety of very 
easy progressive exercises in letters, 
numbers, objects, geography, language, 
animated nature, motion, songs, etc. 
Part II consists of dialogues, charades, 
pantomimes, etc. all original. —Price, 
in Manilla boards, post paid, 50 cts. 

T. S. DENISON, Publisher, CHICAGO. 



























